Things that are hard...

January 3, 2008
12:01 AM

It is hard enough being at home and feeling like your family is incomplete because that is what it feels like you know, but when we are out and about strangers don't know we are short one. Two things often happen.

One happens because my kids are extraordinarily cute ;) and we get lots of admiring glances and sometimes comments. I have to refrain myself from letting telling them they have no idea how it used to be and just how adorable Knox was. They don't need to know that and might think I am a tad crazy and then of course they would feel bad. Anne Michal talks about this sometimes..."Mama, remember how people used to comment on how many kids we had and how cute they thought Knox was?"

The second happens because it appears we have 3 girls and a youngest son. People seem to have this strong urge to comment on his sad state of affairs of being the only boy and how does he survive with those sisters and do they torture him and yada yada yada....This TEARS my kids up!!!! They know Jack isn't the only boy and they desperately wish he weren't the only boy living. The anguish in their faces is obvious. I never say anything, but yet somehow, feel like I am lying by not letting them know that we had another boy and we still have him in our hearts and waiting for us in heaven. Then there are those times where I have a strong urge to set them straight by telling them that no this is not all the kids we have....we have one in heaven and one on the way....wonder what they would say to that????

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