Project of the week

April 20, 2008
11:09 PM

My friend Kiersten was here visiting this week with her kids and we put together this quilt top using Knox's clothes. Once it gets quilted, I'll put a new photo. This is a snuugle under, cuddly quilt.

Just Because

April 20, 2008
1:30 AM

When are you real?

April 19, 2008
1:04 AM

In our community group/small group we are studying 2 Corinthians. A few weeks ago our lesson was based on 2Corinthians 4:1-5:10. I hadn't read it ahead of time (bad me) and so I was caught by surprise by the question "When is a time you have been totally real?" I didn't answer out loud, but immediately in my head I told myself, "April 13, 2007 when Knox had his accident." There was no hiding behind anything, no thinking about how to be or what to say but just response. Praying, begging, pleading, crying out to God to spare my son. Anguish. Agony.Dread. Not caring what anyone thought. What they did. What they said. Nothing mattered other than the condition Knox was in and the welfare of my family.Then there was 10 days of being. Of knowing I was going home without him. Hoping and Praying I was wrong, but feeling that God was telling me Knox was going to be with Him. I rubbed and patted him and stroked his hair. I slept curled up by his side treasuring that time.I was raw and it was all so very very real.I felt naked and vulnerable like I felt with every fiber of my being. I know there are things I probably don't remember, but what I do remember is in such vivid complete detail that I can watch it in my mind like a movie. What people looked like. What they said. I how I felt. I don't have to wonder what it feels to be real; I only have to remember and I am not that many steps away.


2 Corinthians 5:1

5:1 For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, 3 if indeed by putting it on [1] we may not be found naked. 4 For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

6 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

A friend has been good to remind me from time to time,that Knox is a finished work. He has been spared much in this life...hardship, affliction, the burden of sin. He has a heavenly home and his joy is complete.


More Swing Pictures

April 16, 2008
12:56 AM

These were taken when he was 8 months old at Friendship Park in Madison or Ridgeland, MS for those of you that know that park. He loved to swing!

 The obvious glee!

 just to show off some chubby cheeks.

 enjoying the ride!

 maybe it became a bit too relaxing.

Beautiful

April 14, 2008
9:10 AM

I wanted to post yesterday,but could never figure out exactly what I wanted say and how to say it. Nothing seemed adequate or quite right. I read Josh's blog before going to bed and his expression is perfect. I thought of it every time I woke last night. It is a treasure. Thank you Josh for your words and your understanding.

For Knox

In silent times we strain to hear,
The voice of joy we hold so dear,
And yet when silence lingers still,
We pause with straining heart and will,
With trailing tears yet flowing.

In rowdy times we look to see,
The silly smile and grinning glee,
But when we linger to look twice,
Our hearts always pay the price,
With trailing tears yet flowing.

In family times we long to touch,
The little boy we love so much,
And an open space is ever left,
For we here remain bereft,
With trailing tears yet flowing.

In quiet times we pray with love,
To our God and His Son above,
To care for us who cannot be,
With whom we wish so much to see,
With trailing tears yet flowing.

In merry times we laugh and play,
And life still passes, day to day,
Times come and go and come again,
They pierce our hearts now and then,
With trailing tears yet flowing.

Oh God of grace, Thou ever true,
We bow our heads and hearts to you,
We pledge our all into your care,
And pray our grief, for You to spare,
With trailing tears yet flowing.

Then God of mercy, faithful King,
We lift our hearts and to You sing,
What praise we have, we to you give,
What lives we have, we for you live,
With trailing tears yet flowing.

God of glory, keep thy promise sure,
Thy will in heaven, on earth secure,
And raise us with your powerful hand,
Restore our family in the Promised Land,
Where tears shall stop their flowing.

Anne Michal and Knox

April 12, 2008
6:34 PM

Anne Michal loves being the oldest of a "big"family. She has expressed numerous times that she wants to be cheaper by the dozen.  If you ask her if she'd rather have more siblings and give up all the extra things she gets to do, she'll tell you in a heartbeat that she'd rather have the siblings.

She loves to snuggle and hold the newborns. Since Jack was a baby she has wanted to have them every quiet time to hold on her chest while she reads her books. She is always careful and very gentle.

She is always a great playmate and was always handy to come up with ways to entertain and make him laugh.
 Always ready to give him a hand at things he couldn't do by himself and loved his being able to experience firsts!

Thank you Anne Michal for always being willing to give Knox a hand.

From a friend

April 10, 2008
11:39 PM

04/9/08
A Man of Sorrows
Jill Carattini

"Please--Mr. Lion--Aslan, Sir?" said Digory working up the courage to ask. "Could you--may I--please, will you give me some magic fruit of this country to make my mother well?"

A child in one of the Narnia books, Digory, at this point in the story, had brought about much disaster for Aslan and his freshly created Narnia. But he had to ask. In fact, he thought for a second that he might attempt to make a deal with Aslan. But quickly Digory realized the Lion was not the sort of person with which one could try to make bargains.

C.S. Lewis then recounts, "Up till then the child had been looking at the lion's great front feet and the huge claws on them. Now in his despair he looked up at his face. And what he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and wonder of wonders great shining tears stood in the lion's eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory's own that for a moment he felt as if the lion must really be sorrier about his mother than he was himself."(1)

Charles Dickens often spoke of his characters as beloved and "real existences." I have often wondered if the "safe but never tame" Lion ministered to C.S. Lewis half as much as this Christ figure has ministered to others. Lewis was a boy about the age of Digory when his mother lay dying of cancer and he was helpless to save her.

"My son, my son," said Aslan. "I know. Grief is great. Only you and I in this land know that yet. Let us be good to one another..."

The tremendous figure that fills the gospels towers above all attempts we have made to describe him. Yet had we been in charge of writing the story of God becoming man, I doubt it would have been Christ we described: "He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not" (Isaiah 53:3). He was not the stoic, man of nerves we might have imagined. Nor was he the ever-at-peace teacher we often describe. He was, among other things, a man of sorrows.

There is, for me, immense comfort in a Christ who was not always smiling. As I picture his face set as flint toward Jerusalem, my fear is unfastened by his fortitude. As I imagine the urgency in his voice as he defended a guilty woman amidst a crowd holding rocks, my shame is freed by his mercy. And as I picture him weeping at the grave of Lazarus, crying out at injustice, sweating blood in the garden of Gethsemane, my tears are given depth by his own cries. I do not grieve alone.

"But you, O God," cried the psalmist, "do see trouble and grief." Becoming man, the character of God was not compromised or misrepresented. As Jesus knew tears, so the heart of God is one that knows grief. The heart of the Father is one who has lost a Son. "Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted" (Isaiah 53:4). Matthew describes the extent of these words: "Then [Pilate] released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified" (Matthew 27:26). Indeed, we do not grieve alone.

Perhaps those who mourn are called blessed because they are at this point closest to the deepest wound of the heart of God. Until every tear shall be wiped dry, we have before us the hopeful figure of the Man of Sorrows, who bore on his shoulders our grief and his own. "My son, my daughter, I know."


Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1) C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew, (New York: Harper Collins, 2001), 83.

This article came from this website: http://www.rzim.org/

Thanks friend!

Look Mom!!

April 9, 2008
11:59 PM


I can wink!!!

More Park Pictures

April 9, 2008 
10:34 PM

Here are some more park pictures. He hadn't been walking too terribly long and had great fun exploring and climbing!

sliding with Lizzy...and Mommy once again forgot to put the camera on action mode.

I want up THERE!!!

Playing with Anne Michal.

climbing and

climbing...notice that like his brother mouthwork aids all endeavors.

running

I miss patting that padded bottom; I know the sound and the feeling.

Lizzy and Knox

April 8, 2008
11:33 PM

Elizabeth LOVED LOVED LOVED being with Knox. If you couldn't find her, she was with Knox. She was always wanting to hold him. She loved feeding him. Most of the time he took his baths with her. She was thrilled to have a "buddy" to help take care of. Jack was Anne Michal's buddy and Knox was hers. I had a terrible time getting her to stay on task with her school work because she was always disappearing from her work to be with him. "Knox wanted me to read him a book"or "He really wanted me to play with him" were common excuses I heard. She loved teaching him things and always seemed to be convinced that he could say a new word (one only she could understand) and seemed to know things about him that no one else did like the fact that green was his favorite color. Here are some pictures of the two of them.








TX wildflowers

April 7, 2008
11:52 PM

I love TX wildflowers. I love driving down the road and seeing the blue,red, yellow and pink flowers all along the way. Spring really is the prettiest time in TX and a time to look forward to. I was driving to"town" the other day and I thought,"I love April in TX." As soon as the thought ended, it kind of startled me. I have something to love in April. God gave me an April love in TX. Thank you Lord.

Every spring I try to be aware of the changing of the seasons, but some years I have disappointed myself by suddenly realizing spring was over,everything was already green, and I missed it all. This year I have been especially aware. I've watched the gradual changing of the grass from brown to green, trees and flowers blooming, and then watching the trees leaf. It has been comforting and reassuring with a sublayer of sadness to be reminded that life goes on; new life begins; God is creator and orderer of life from flowers to people;that what he does is good. I pray I don't miss another spring.

The Chair

April 5, 2008
11:33 PM

Do you see this sad little chair?


I should be embarrassed  to publicize it but I am not because since the day I brought it home from the Palmer Home Thrift Store,it has been a favorite.  Actually, it didnt' look that bad when I brought it home and I had every intention of  recovering.  I have never done that before but it seemed like a good learning  project.Now it is worn and threadbare  and you can feel the frame through the material,but it still is not recovered.  It is,however, on "the list."  Well, Knox loved this chair just as much as everyone else and as you can see his basket of board books sit right beside it. Who can resist a chair and a basket of books.

The chair is much cuter with a Knox decoration,huh?


He also  liked to use the chair as a slide. He would stand up in it and then slide down the back of the chair over and over again.See it was just too valuable to trash like people kept suggesting I do.  ;)

Elizabeth and a younger Knox sharing the chair.

Where is the chair now? We still have it. I think there would be mutiny if I tried to get rid of  it now.  It resides in Emma and Elizabeth's walk-in closet as a "get-away" spot. And yes I still have plans to  recover it and even have the fabric picked out.  I just need to buy it and do it. But it just won't be the same.

A wagon ride

April 4, 2008
3:09 PM





One of those days...

April 3, 2008
4:11 PM

when every where I look and everywhere I go, I see the empty spot and hear the silent voice.

Another Screamer

April 3, 2008
4:10 PM


just because this is how I feel today.

Letters

April, 2008
7:39 PM

I know I mentioned early on how overwhelmed(in a good way) we were with the outpouring of cards and letters we received. I have a chest at the foot our bed that holds momentos not only of Knox but for the other kids as well. One of the things in the chest is a basket that is overflowing with the mail we received. We have cards, letters, and pictures from family, church family, friends, children, and people we have never met. Some people and churches sent numerous cards. One church in MA sent us a "we are praying for you card" consistently all summer. All these were very meaningful to us; it is hard to feel as though God has abandoned you when someone is telling you almost every day that they are praying for you and offering scripture for you to read or a child you have never met draws you a picture to cheer you up! Different people said different things from a simple "I am praying for you" to "I don't know what to say" to quoting scripture and so on. I was going through the chest the other day and I pulled out an especially meaningful letter and I want to share it with you minus the namesbecasue I don't like to use people's names online without knowing it is OK.

Dear Jon and Rachel,
Saturday morning April the 14th, the phone rang and D was inviting me to a prayer meeting for Knox Anderson,at the church for 11:00 AM.
I was one of the first to arrive and sat on the front row of the middle section. L.explained what he knew of the situation and started crying, J gave us a few more insights and he started crying. Then we all broke in small circles to pray. As I stood to get in place, Il ooked behind me and noticed the middle section was full of people.We were all praying and crying. The mood was very solemn.We now wait for email from the church to bring us updates on Knox's condition.As Christians we know that life has no opposite. Psalm62:8 "Trus tin Him at all times,people, pour out your heart before Him;God is a refuge for us."
We enfold you in His presence,

This letter meant a lot to me because I knew there had been a prayer meeting for Knox there as well as some other churches,but to have it documented for me was a gift as though I could hear and feel those prayers after the fact. It was as though a bit of my own history had been filled in and prayers realized in a tangible way for me and for that I am thankful.

Swingtime

March 31, 2008
11:24 PM







A favorite book

March 28, 2008
5:39 PM


Ok...you really can't look inside.I just copied the picture. It is all in how you read this one,but here is how it goes:

Hey,Big Guys,
Open your eyes.
What do you say?
It's a brand new day!

Yawn.(yawn) Stretch(stretch). Touch your toes(Tickletoes) .
Shimmy shimmy shimmy. ( you better be shimmying)
Wiggle your nose. (do it for them)

Shout out loud:
GOOD MORNING SUN!
HAPPY MORNING, EVERYONE!!(say loudly and with great enthusiasm)

Hey,Little guys!
Open your eyes.
What do you say?
It's a brand new day.

Yawn.(yawn) Stretch(stretch). Touch your feet(Tickletoes) .
Breakfast time! Come on! Let's eat!
Orange juice and cereal,too.
Buttered toast and Broccoli stew. Ew. (said with great disgust) * this was his favorite part and he turned pages rapidly to get there!*

Hurry, hurry! Go get dressed! Put on the clothes that you like best.(read really really fast)
Put on the clothes that you like best.
Hey,hey what do you say?
Are you ready? Let's go play!

You're to small for basketball
unlessyou play with someone tall. (do big and small with hands)
You're too big to use the swings!
You should go do Big Guy things. (bossy voice and shake finger)
Try out the jump rope! Slide down the slide!
Are you tired? Come inside.

Morning snack is here for you.
Milk and cookies.And broccoli stew. Ew.(disgust)
For the bunny, not for you. Oh.Phew. (relief!)


I was suprised when I went to upload this picture that this is the book Jack is "reading" to Knox.Notice he has other favorite things too. His paci and his doggie.

Just Because

March 28, 2008
1:12 AM